As of Saturday (it's Sunday night now) I was 27 weeks pregnant. A week from now and I'll be in my THIRD TRIMESTER. Things are starting to feel really real.
I've had a lot of emotional challenges in the last week or so, which are probably brought on by the fact that things are indeed getting more and more real. My fetus weighs almost 2 lbs now. It would probably survive if it was born right now. My belly is round and starting to become cumbersome. The worst physical thing so far has been the swollen ankles and fatigue which are exacerbated by the terrible heat wave we've been having in Toronto for 2 weeks. I've been feeling nauseous from it, and have been doing all the self care possible. I finally managed to track down and buy a small used air conditioner for my bedroom and I'm going to sleep with it on tonight for the 2nd time. I've also been overcomitting myself on weekends lately with camping. The camping has been lovely but it has been hard on my body. I've done road trips for the last 3 weekends in a row. 1) apartment hunting in Ottawa 2) camping near Ottawa, combined with midwifery appointment in Ottawa 3) camping at the Hillside music festival in Guelph. I was so hot yesterday that I cried.
Speaking of crying... I've been cracking a bit lately, too. I'm getting broken down and tired from always having to be strong and independant. I'm worried about who will attend my birth. I feel like need one or more people to be there with me from early labour through to the birth, and I have a lot of friends who have vaguely said they might help in some way but nothing firmly organised and no firm comitments. I cried and cried about all of this during last week's midwifery appointment (it snuck up on me) and I left there feeling worse about things than when I had walked in. I've also learned the my backup midwife has been changed to a new midwife who is in her first year since graduating and I'm not excited about that at all. I really wanted a midwife with a lot of experience - not someone who feels like a peer and who only has 2 more years of education than me. I'm sure she's competent because she *did* graduate and the practice thought her worthy to hire when there were other applicants too... but I am hung up on the fact that she doesn't have much more experience than me. I really wanted someone with >5 years of births. This is adding to my feeling of being unsupported.
What I've decided, is that I need to start talking to people about my needs. Before that even happens, I need to figure out what I do need and what I do wish/want for my birth support team.
With all of this hard stuff, there is some good stuff too:
- The weather is a bit cooler tonight.
- I had two tearful conversations with friends tonight and felt listened to and supported.
- I emailed a doula to inquire about her schedule and fees. I suspect that it will cost $800 and therefore be financially out of reach for me, but I need to explore this option.
- Hazel didn't go with my roommate to doggy summer camp so she's here with me to cuddle with.
- My air conditioner works.
- I bought lots of fruit to eat and it is delicious. (I never really ate fruit until this pregnancy.)
- Foetie is kicking me stronger and stronger as each day goes by, and that reminds me that s/he is strong and thriving. I silently say 'thank you' when it happens, sometimes.
This is me, flat on my back at 11pm tonight in the backyard, with Hazel nestled up on my belly bump.
I'm 27 weeks here.
Jade says that this is good proof that Foetie and Hazel will get along.
Oh, and I got the apartment!! I'll get the keys on Sept 15 and will move in on Sept 16.
I have been mulling it over for a week and decided it would be fun to show this silly photo. Internet modesty, goodbye! This was from last week's portion of the heat wave, when I decided that swimming in a lake 7 times in 3 days was the only way to survive the heat. I kind of look like a fried egg...
Belly belly belly belly belly!!
(26 weeks)
Foetie is kicking me now and I have heartburn. Both those things mean that it is past my bedtime.
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